I don’t get jokes. Ever, and it’s not a joke, and it’s not funny, trust me, it’s HORRIBLE.

Every time someone comes to me, phone in hand, saying something like ‘HAHA LOOK AT THIS!’ I get super nervous ‘cause I know that it’s never gonna make me laugh and socially that’s terrible. ‘Cause I become the grumpy one even though I am not grumpy at all. It’s just that I am very slow at getting things sometimes — especially jokes.

My nightmare? MEMES. ‘Cause it’s just an image, a scene, a few sentences to read and then you’re given, what? two-three seconds and BOOM they all expect you to laugh. And if you don’t? Dear oh Dear what’s wrong with you? You’re out of the game: done, finished, Kaput.

A movie? That’s EASYYY! You might not laugh at the right time but no one’s ever gonna notice that!! What’s important is the whole, it’s your impression at THE END of the movie. PLUS! Strangely enough, if you don’t find a comedy funny no one’s ever gonna judge you for that – quite the opposite actually! You acquire a certain charm, you pass as a connoisseur. Whereas if you don’t find a meme funny, you’re just considered totally anti-social.

But let’s get to the point, I was at the mecca of cinema’s connoisseurs: Venice Film Festival. It was my very first time at the Festival and I thought I had to dress like a Diva in order to be noticed by someone from the industry – haha never happened! BUT! You never know! So, imagine me, well dressed, entering a projection room and rushing to take the last central seat. A guy is sitting right behind me and decides to break the ice with quite a vicious pick up line: ‘I saw you yesterday, you really caught my attention, you are so bewitching.’ Now consider the fact that in Venice you never know who you could be talking to, maybe a producer? Or a director? And imagine me going against every tiny little fiber in my body and giving him a wide, gentle, radiant smile — YES I’m a HYPOCRITE —

Just my luck though, the movie started, and the conversation didn’t go much further than the usual embarrassing admission of wanting to be an actress but not being one yet (at that point everyone starts seeing me as either desperate or a possible prey).

But here comes the important part: the movie was supposed to be funny, but trust me, it wasn’t. And I know I’ve just told you I am no expert on this so you might just be thinking: ‘Of course it wasn’t! LOL’ But this movie was not only not funny, it was upsetting, mortifying! And you don’t need to take my word for it, ‘cause THE WHOLE theatre wasn’t laughing, the whole theatre EXCEPT one person that was actually laughing his head off.. Can you guess who?

And just like that everything was clear, this guy could have been Scorsese’s right-hand man but MAN! If you laugh at things I find upsetting, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.

–> Getting back at people thinking I’m completely daft ‘cause I don’t get jokes? CHECK!

Stephanie Del Bino

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