Today I’m gonna tell you about that one time I met Call Me by Your Name’s renowned director Luca Guadagnino.

It was one of those gloomy days of Spring that look like Autumn. I had just had dinner at a Vegan place that I found delicious (got back afterwards it sucked… HOW IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!).

Anyways, it started raining one of those Summer rainstorms even if it were Spring and me and my boyfriend arrived at the movie theatre quite soaked. We got the tickets for this special screening of a documentary on Asbury Park, not really my cup of tea but bf insisted and as I am a Boss fan I agreed, plus we had already seen the most interesting titles on the bill so.. Tickets in hand we are moving towards the projection room when I see Him seated in the lounge area with a remarkable young man at his side. He was shouting on his phone at someone and the words I overheard left no room for doubt, it was Him. PANIC. What should I do? Go up to him? Yes, and say what?! Don’t go and regret it? I rush to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror: trainers, jeans, oversized sweat, pony tail, baby hair in every direction because of the rain.. SCREW THIS I’m going there.

‘LUCA!’ – Pick up line was great, was so confident he thought we knew each other. Looks at me, scoots on his chair and replies: ‘Do we know each other?’ And then you realise that you are not in a movie and that your breakthrough hasn’t come yet. As soon as you reply ‘No we don’t know each other but I am an actress and was wondering if you have castings going on for people that could look like me!’ he pushes back on his chair, the invisible barrier gets raised and his eyes get filled by annoyance.

Why is it that whenever you say you want to be an actress or are an actress everyone finds you desperate and looks at you with pity and judgment. Why is it that wanting to be an actress for most people is another way of saying ‘I want to be at the centre of attention and want to be adored!’? Trust ME, if you want to be an actor it probably means you didn’t get to talk much at home, or that you are so sensitive you feel the urge to give a voice to all those people that cannot find one, or that you get dependent on acting as it makes you forget who you are and where you come from. You find yourself LIVING for the first time in a while.

He said he was shooting a series on adolescents so – NO, definitely no breakthrough for me — FYI I could totally play a middle school girl especially all dressed up as I was on that day with my trainers and sweat, no make up.. should have carried a backpack though. Argh, I’m sure that would have increased my probabilities on nailing the role.

Right before I said bye, tail between my legs, he asked me what movie I was gonna watch. Needless to say I felt so helpless, I couldn’t even play a good card there. At first I didn’t even remember the name of the documentary and it started to get even more embarrassing, and when I told him what I was gonna watch I had the clear impression that he’s not a Boss’ fan.

NOTE TO SELF: If asked who’s your favorite songwriter by Luca Guadagnino, don’t say Bruce Springsteen.

Stephanie Del Bino

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